Creating Connection: The Missing Piece For Getting To Motherhood By Cara Gauthier, Infertility Life

When the infertility diagnosis finally gets assigned there is one part that is always missing from every fertility plan I see. No, it’s not a vitamin or a procedure or another test kit.

It’s the feeling of connection.

The infertility experience has a way of bringing up all kinds of thoughts that harbor disconnection. If you are not feeling connected with your body, your partner, or your life, infertility will seem excruciatingly difficult to navigate. A universal tip I would offer for anyone dealing with infertility is learning how to feel  connection in your life.

Very few people know how to bridge the gap between feeling disconnected to connected in their lives on their own. Consequently they end up losing relationships or having them change permanently because they don’t know some simple life coaching tools that can help. For instance, if your best friend is newly pregnant and you have been diagnosed with infertility, it can be hard to see the common ground between you. If you don’t want to lose the relationship, you need to find a way of feeling connected with her even while you are dealing with your own stuff.

That’s where I come in.

I am a certified life coach that specializes in infertility and relationships. Think of a life coach as a personal trainer for your mind. If you don’t pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling as you go through the infertility process, your mind will run wild. Because every thought you think drives the feelings that you have, your emotions are bound to be all over the place, too. Infertility is a whirlwind of emotions that can range from hope to possibility to frustration and despair all within a month.

All of your emotions fuel your actions. That’s why you feel sad and can’t stop crying in your car when you think about your own fertility situation after seeing that baby announcement on social media. The thought your brain offered up when you saw it triggered that feeling of sadness and disconnection. Thoughts are just sentences in our minds but they are so powerful. They are the way we interpret the world around us. If  you haven’t trained your mind on how to think about the information you are taking in all the time, it can seem like the weight of infertility is crushing you from all angles.

I work with women who want to feel better and more connected in their lives as they go through infertility. Most of the women I work with have had some amount of therapy before but it hasn't helped them feel better. They seek me out because coaching is a different experience from therapy. Coaching focuses on the future and who you are becoming, rather than placing much of the focus on the past and who you were. The work we do together helps them recognize their thoughts and regularly take inventory of what they are allowing themselves to think and feel every day. Understanding how your brain works and influences everything in your life becomes this magic tool you can use for anything.

That’s the beauty of coaching. Once you learn how to do it, you can apply it to any part of your life. After learning how to coach themselves I’ve had clients create stronger relationships with their husbands, actually enjoy their mother-in-laws after years or disliking them, and even take the leap to start their own businesses. The benefits of knowing how to coach yourself are huge. You can apply it to any goal you have and be constantly improving your life in the process. Creating that feeling of connection with anyone under any circumstances is just the beginning. You can also create any feeling you want to have in any moment. It’s magic, and it makes the entire process of navigating life  much easier to handle.

If you are curious to learn more about coaching, visit me over at and download the Infertility Mental Health Checklist. It has nine life coaching tools I teach to all of my clients when it comes to managing their minds through infertility. They are simple concepts with incredible benefits if you actually apply them. Let me teach you the amazing impact coaching can have on the connections in your life forever.

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